The Stonk Market
In these strange post COVID times we live in, the market has been as erratic as ever, with there being uncertainty followed by massive bull runs, it can be confusing to try to find a stock to pick that’ll net you a profit both short and long term. Here at The Stonk Market we narrowed down 5 stock picks that can help fulfill the wishes of the average investor post COVID, the mentally disabled.
This is a no brainer pick, SQ is Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s true love child, a revolution of mobile peer to peer money transfer that not only allows people to pay their friends for the eighth they just bought, but also buy Bitcoin & stocks. SQ has gone parabolic in the past year being up over 380% but we at The Stonk Market still feel like there is room for growth well past over $300.
SNAP has seen recent impressive short term gains after what seemed like months of sideways trading, but it still has potential to grow. This company is extremely underrated and we assure you this company has more to offer other than an app for sending dick pics to your Tinder hook up that ghosted you.
ROBLOX is a massive multiplayer online game with a fan base of millions of twelve year old kids desperate to drain the credit cards of their parents on the in game currency ROBUX. This stock is sure to be a safe pick with the feds massive inflation, we believe that ROBUX could actually become a safe haven currency and hedge against the US Dollar. Despite COVID’s reign of terror seemingly on the way out we think ROBLOX can still grow.
Amazon is on the verge of becoming a corporate nation separate from the United States. We take no moral or political issue with corporations abusing their employees and putting them through shit conditions if it means turning a profit for us, the shareholders. With Supreme Leader Bezos’ stepping down, we believe the Corporation will be able to find a suitable replacement who can continue to oppress the worker for profit, besides who is gonna stop them? They are a paramilitary. Hail Hydra.